paint by numbers

the heart-shape in matches' latte is slowly deforming, to the left. portland is amazing.

"how many times will the seasons turn, from babylon"
~ zion i

wondering a sliver (furrowing, pointedly) if stream-of-consciousness is the way to continue scribbling. it is so therapeutic, so expressive, and yet it may not be the form of forms. he would like to take this to a higher place, to quote royksopp. how does one tell what form they can drape themselves in best? this is like painting, experimenting with mediums before settling on a palette and a fluidity which speaks to the soul. did you know how amazing watercolor paintings can be? it is not the painting equivalent of a crayon, as most assumed after they parted ways with fourth grade~ it has its own nuances, its own physics, and it can extract an essence just as well (or better than) the traditionally-touted alternatives. there is no 'graduation' from watercolor....it morphs along with your mind, just like anything else.

it seems like form has to be felt out; cinched and buckled. matches is a little intimidated by fiction, to be honest. he knows he has the depth, the capacity, but he hasn't developed enough literary tools in his own mind to code such a cipher. it takes a degree of mapping, a compass-twirling orientation.

um, apparently matches has just been entered into a trivia competition at the bar/coffee shop he is residing in currently...
...
...aaand, that was the most nerdcore trivia session ever. come on, matches is admittedly a bit of a nerd, and he definitely only got, maybe three questions correct. out of twenty. do you know the name of the computer in 'wargames', and also what it stands for? that was like, 18 years ago.

okay. back to the point. was going somewhere. fiction is a lot like painting. broad brushstrokes finish the job quickly, and you can hammer away at piece after piece after canvas, burning through vague impressions. or you can go deep. you can nick away at detail...a pinned pick, versus a railroad chisel through marble.
arg distraction.