usually, titles come so easy. not today.

matches is enjoying copland, sunshine, and a rather blatant bandwith violation at dragonfly chai~

ah, spring is in the air. flowers are tunneling their way through the soil, erupting at the surface life spurts of lava. it is so refreshing, after such a grey and downtrodden winter, to feel a breeze that isn't piercingly cold rustling through one's clothing. to sit at a table outside, and not have to defend your laptop against a barrage of raindrops slingshotting around to the underside of a pitter-pattering canopy. sunroofs, they are open. ice cream trucks, they are, curiously not present (let us hope that this deficiency is remedied in the coming months).

mattress is debating the idea of starting a vegetable garden on his extraordinarily-large deck. it seems that it would be a large investment of time and effort, but he imagines that he could probably learn some things from it as well, and also would get a kick out of nourishing himself with things that he once nourished (kind of like a kung-fu master learning from his student. well, maybe not much like that. but, delightful nonetheless). his main qualm is that he would probably be unnecessarily devastated if the sun became overly harsh and roasted his plants, as happened to justin naught but 3 years ago. so much effort poured into nothing~

the idea struck him long ago, but recently he has been thinking that it he might reap some quite isolated benefits from the process. for one, he has noticed this aspect of himself lately, whereby he has become quite impatient with anything taking longer than a few moments. it's a terribly frustrating state of being, because most things take longer than a few moments....for instance, he hasn't been seeking out much new music by bands, even ones whose names he is aware of, because he is exhibiting impatience with downloading or going to stores. sometimes he refuses to go to a website if it is not preemptively bookmarked, because he doesn't want to move his hand from the mousepad to the keyboard and type the address. these things do not take much time at all. it is a problem. so, perhaps taking the time to cultivate something lengthy will balance his mind out a bit. what is curious is that he exercises extreme patience in some respects....as a rule he would consider himself to be one of the most patient people he knows~ there is just an inclination of late that exhibits otherwise, and he supposes it would be best to whisk these inconsistencies into a more fluid smoothness. life is so much easier when one is in a casually-drifting disposition.
and then, of course, after all is said and done, he will get to put said vegetables to their ultimate destruction in his hands. which is oddly kind of a fun prospect, is it not~

do you notice the same tendency towards impatience? he is not sure quite what to make of it? is impatience a good thing on occasion? is it always negative; a weakness? upon contemplation, the problem is precisely in the application of the feeling. it is bad to have a pressing impatience, an inability to behave oneself when immediacy is unavailable. but it can be good, for instance, to have an impatient resolve, an uncompromising steadfastness towards achieving a goal. it's funny the quickness with which virtue can shift to vice, and then double-back upon itself. good things do come to those who wait, but it is foolish to let an opportunity pass one by when it could be seized. impatience clouds the mind, though; it confuses and magnetizes one toward finding a singular thing. it takes patience to really recognize a genuine opportunity~ so, kind of divided on the issue.

perhaps, like most things, the degree of importance which the quested-after object has determines its tendency towards either impatience or patience. when you only want something for shallow reasons, you leap upon it, frenzied, and fail to evaluate anything about the situation or the thing itself. when you desire a thing for more intricate and notable reasons, patience springs up as an unwillingness to compromise, as a third eye guiding with more depth perception. it becomes important, truly, and as such you're willing to invest more of yourself and your time towards achieving it.

hm. outro~