independence days

a delightful set of days; good memories though perhaps not much has been 'accomplished'. friday consisted of an afternoon drive to vancouver, to acquire some fireworks of illegal proportions. it was a successful venture, but also an experience to be had....a veritable mall of fireworks stands and tents, all along one singular stretch of land, but with heated competition sparking left and right. the advertisements were circus-esque. the hired goons on the side of the road, twirling signs with names, confusing arrows, and vague promises of discounts. and this was actually a ferocious bunch; not the sorts of people whom one would want to encounter in a dark alley. they cursed at each other and made hostile gestures, trying to rope in the most sales to their respective stands, and screamed imperatives to the customers rambling down the dirt road in automobiles. when we arrived at the decided-upon stand (dr. seuss hats were the deciding factor), we unsaddled and made our way towards what was soon to be described to us as "a short line". a rather conspiratorial and misleading term. people were exiting the other side with large boxes. everyone had large boxes. matches thought to himself, what, do they have bikini-clad saleswomen touting the explosives?....but no, not the case. they just had an arsenal that would probably rival the militant forces of third-world countries, is what they had inside that tent.

so, made some obligatory purchases and enthralled the masses later on that evening with quite a display of harnessed elemental force. very much surprised, actually, that the cops did not swarm us, considering that we were blatantly firing illegal varieties of explosions over one of the more major intersections in southeast portland~ m guesses they must have had their hands full with drunk drivers or something of the sort. either way, it turned out to be the most active sort of day, if going from state-to-state, attending three barbecues, dismantling the darkness with bright colors, and enjoying the down-home old-timey musical stylings of a large group of banjo, washboard, mandolin, guitar, violin, and cello players can be considered active. upon arriving home exhausted but exhilarated, the both terrible and fantastic decision to watch the extended fellowship of the ring was put into motion.

it is a thing of extreme value to know many different people, all of varying personalities and temperaments. it does tax one's energy and time, now and again....but good company is, as of this point in antimatter's life, one of the most important and wonderful things he has known to exist. an observation: it is intoxicating to be a focii; one of the dynamic personalities which brings a crowd together and to which they entrust their energies. everyone has had, previously or currently in their lives, times when the dominant social instinct has caused them, their own unspun energies, to wilt like a wallflower. of course this would still happen in situations where one has no previous context....but what is interesting is the growing courage of older, wiser age; the heightened sense of being and validity. m can make his own context out of an uncontextualized situation, which is new as of the past, say, seven years, in a slowly skyward and flourishing flora form. this is exciting, this not bending to the wills of powerful personalities, this stasis and equilibrium of self that, instead of becoming defeated, deflated...instead becomes expectant, quickens and becomes vibrant. the mind is no longer a sponge, soggy and sloth-like when full....it is a battery, charged with current and direct, purposeful; yet playful, unpredictable.

"there is nothing we need to do in order to be ourselves."