time is relative

what is something, when it's in your heart and not your eyes? when those are elsewhere?

anyway.
mattress needs to work on developing thoughts, instead of just grabbing at those which may happen to pass by in the moment. he had a long bout of actual thought-development last night while lying in bed, and perhaps it is easier than one would think to pursue an individual line, to be baited and caught, instead of dabbling around with all the floating particulate matter which obeys the volatile currents. there is this sense that pursuance is difficult; that it necessitates training your mind not to wander, and to fight its way through struggles as they appear, instead of dodging them until it becomes absolutely necessary to tussle. but perhaps this isn't training, so much as it is a force of habit to look the other way.

is it necessarily 'training', to gain a perspective which allows you to forge your way through situations, instead of bending to allow them to pass? m deals every day with his own phalanx of problems, neuroses, and annoyances....we all do. these things we have come to consider as standard fare and are almost expectant to encounter so that we can move on to greener greens *hem*. but at a certain point we draw the line, whether from lack of personal obligation, tiredness, depression....what have you. we flail wildly at the world, so that it keeps its distance from our personal bubble. we will not admit responsibility for the sorts of problems and ponderances which truly bury themselves and burn in the spirit of humanity. instead we occupy our minds otherwise, feign an air of nonchalance, and stave them off to further reaches of the future.
hm. no battery.

and, back, days later. if the ubermensch were to exist in pure form, there would be no dodges, no spins - he would tackle head on. the only way to maintain the momentum of mental industry, ultimately, seems like it is to deal with something as it is dealt to you. in small portions, these things do not seem to add up...certainly it is easier to focus on a task by ignoring all the tangents that your brain will slide in front of your eyes. but how genuine is our committal to the task, if it is so easily assailed by interruption? isn't that a sign that something is off? sometimes things start to stack up, and then one feels guilty when they just want to have a moment of peace with no priorities. additionally, the mathematics of mental images are more tricky than one would at first surmise. it's the old adage of pulling on a string, until the whole thing uncoils - everything in the mind is linked, and you never know how deep the rabbit hole will go until you actually devote some time to spelunking it~ it is a good thing to map out one's territory, and make a laundry list of things which need to be mulled over in more heightened and attentive detail. if nothing else, it generates a surge of validation and euphoria just to cross something off, and be done with it. if only life were ever just that simple.