backspace

the plant, this plant right here, looks like lightly-grilled green peppers skewered on winding shish-ka-bob sticks. thick, ruffled, vibrant. there doesn't seem to be any ordering principle to the juxtaposition of the tendrils....unlike some sharp and angular plants one might find on wooded walks. this thought from the other day floats back into my mindspace....chaos is still math. there is still logic here, there; it grips at your eyes and rakes them left, right...gently curls your ankles, like a summer breath, coaxing them down a sideways street. a coppered scent lances through you, permeates the inside of the compass, dizzying. there is a dialectic for everything here. there is an equation compounding...both complex and getting simpler, by less-than-seconds, to understand. it is ourselves who are dismantling our own progress, disordering the rubix while we aren't looking (really looking). we feel some need to make this math STOP, some imperative to frost it, slow it, and script it so that it might be applied to ourselves. whom we cannot, for the life of us, figure out.

so instead, we focus on everything external to us. we burrow, curiously enough, into the outside world. when things go pear-shaped, we sometimes hang on to it for dear life, for sweet surrender to definition from an informing source, from something which seems to have more solidity than the nebulous fluctuations of our minds and thereby personalities (no, do not claim no inconsistencies in this arena. they are there; we are just better-trained to pass over our own faults and paint crimson flags upon others'). but we need to learn to retract our claws; to fall from the world and simultaneously be cushioned by it. we have compounded depths within us that most have not even bothered to scan with whatever radar techniques they can muster. our potential ranges of sensation, of experience, are exponential, or diminishing to near zero...one of the two. we have lost much of the sense, the liberty, of innovative living, of casting out and burning with the newness of the stars. there are many territories to be explored, not all of them tangible. but the more darkness one burns away inside of oneself, the more focused and torch-bearing one can exist on the outside.

dreams, in particular, and an exemplary manifestation of this idea. dreams sublimate the vast and murky, sensations (or whatever you want to call them, those indications of distance within one's own mind, emotions, spirit) that we are capable of, with actual plots of what seems to be more manageable mediums. dreams are crayons, scraping waxen upon the intricate sculptures of the soul. how fascinating that we can conjure whole oceans, whole continents, out of the raw materials which our thoughts, and what goes perhaps deeper than them, provide. it seems little wonder that god is imagined as human-like, and humanity as the sharded form of a god.

we exist in multiple dimensions, in multiple forms, and they can teach us great and wonderful things about the other. i think that only something which was laced, somehow, could exhibit these properties, these bridges of understanding. to quote a friend..."livelovelaughlook". Do not sell yourself short on the boundless possibilities of existing with apparent chaos. Embrace.