speak to my soul

matches has become somewhat worried about the alarming number of people getting married right after college.

brett, matches thinks the world of you, but must admit that you are one of the people clustered into this category. somehow, though, you are also exempt, because you have a solid foundation underneath your decision. m wishes you the best and is sad he cannot be there to personally bestow a blender unto thee.

back to the point. as far as he has noticed, people seem to be running life like the olympic hurdle. he has been there right alongside you all; he sees the checkpoints and triumphs pass beneath his shadow same as you do. elementary skoo, middle cruel, high school, and then of course college, at which point matches kind of clipped the hurdle as he leapt, and it cost him another semester. no matter; wasn't in a hurry to chase college with something sweet...it had bite and matches relished it like a rough whiskey. but matches sees everyone now tumbled out of this scholastic basin that we have been swirled around in for so long, crashing against the splintery sides and riding the floodwaves out into a much larger space. shit, patches is even in vietnam, doing something quite unique. patches you have matches' respect.

everyone is blinded by the lights (dizzy new heights)...matches feels like we have been trained to use our minds in one way or another, but not enough people are being creative enough in the process. please avoid the impulse to decry matches if you know that he has spent the last year working for a rather typical nothing of a company. he had a hard enough time jetting off beyond the warmth of all his security blankets, and he doesn't need people fanning chilly air over him or razing him with ice cube accusations of hypocracy : ) matches just doesn't want to see too many of his unique and wonderful friends going the way of the glossy black business shoe.

matches digresses. his original point was going to be something along the lines of how people want to make marriage the 'next step' in their lives...how hard it is to define one's self in the void that a college degree leaves in its wake. it is difficult to swallow, this sudden responsibility and this downhill-bicycle-like momentum that doesn't allow us as much freedom to move and dance as we had before (see conservation of momentum chart B3). but what matches sees is people getting scared and jumping to drastic conclusions and measures. it may be a hard pill to smash up and snort, but marriage is not the next big thing...it's something that we should take our time with, not barrel into with diamond gleams in our eyes~ it isn't the marriage that should be desired (because damn if we don't all have nagging parents that want us to take mud-plodding steps in any direction to score them some grandchildren, and cripes if we haven't all felt the weight of old storybooks and fairytales on our shoulders whispering similar fates; can't tell if angel or devil), it should be the person and feeling and the vivaciousness and curiosity that they spark within us. and matches always spells curiosity with an "ou", and thank god for spell check. and matches is not about to get married, so he can't go into detail about what exactly the feeling is...but if any of you have any genuine insight into what the feeling feels like he would be most curious to discuss it over a pot of tea.

investigate your hearts and make sure that getting married is not just the next big thing for you. because while matches has witnessed maybe a handful of marriages that he has confidence in, mostly he is losing confidence in people and their ability to make sound judgments, whether emotional or rational. he has been out of college for some time now, and while identity is indeed sometimes a huge question mark that strangles him in his sleep, he is not about to make any rash decisions that put the rest of his life and emotional sanity in jeopardy. marriage is supposed to be forever; it should be treated with respect and reservation accordingly. considering how matches knows it feels to be in this vacuum of direction left by the bermuda triangle of post-constant-instruction, he at least feels that now is not the time to make these decisions. maybe some of you have more confidence in yourselves than that...but what matches has confidence in is his not-knowing, at least for here and for now. he seriously will put you to question if you're taking these steps, but understand he is doing this so as to be as good a friend as possible, not to be an asshole. it should be the responsibility of friends...matches would want the same from any of you. and truly it should not be an annoyance if you are as confident about these choices as you should be if you are making them.
"then one day ye shall look behind you, and you shall see we three." my kingdom for some sidekicks (my kingdom fits in a Nissan SE-R so watch out).

matches would like to dive into the subject of relationships in general but he needs to relocate and find some food. maybe soon.
his stomach is also somewhat tumbrely from coffee with cinnamon.

" Morning after rain
Clear away the pain
Then after all
When all are gone
It's plain to see
Just who we are"
~ Royksopp - 'Beautiful Day Without You'

*Chart B3:
O O + -> -> -> -> -> -> = O O + -> <- -> <- -> <- -> = O-|- !!!
bike + fwd. momentum = bike ok + squiggles 'n movles = bike smash!

~ matches circa 21st century