daylight

let mattress walk you through a typical day, with an emphasis on just one particular feature. when he rises in the morning, after much tussling and tumbling and fumbling with the alarm clock (which happens to be his motorola, so the buttons are tiny and he feels like an enraged giant about to hurl some small annoyance against the cave wall), he sleepily surveys his surroundings. he sees the first shards of dim daylight picking their way through his piano-key blinds, which may or may not be wobbling dependent upon the presence or absence of sushi the cat. he then proceeds to crack into his routine, droning mindlessly in and out of rooms until somewhere between the kitchen and the elevator, when he manages to crank the correct gear in his head and his mind starts working. he tastes for the first time the breakfast that he ate five minutes ago, and may or may not banter with people in the elevator if the mood strikes him.

then work work work, eat work work. work coffee, work work.

and by the time he is over and done with all this 'work', and sloughs it off his shoulders, he goes outside and the last surf of sunset is rolling over the distant hills. it will be dark in two minutes. and he goes on to have a fulfilling and enjoyable, sometimes outright badass evening. but the point was made one sentence ago. between apartment and work and again apartment (or coffee shop, again as the mood strikes), there is barely any actual 'daytime' wedging itself into his day. the northwest is strange.

the funny thing is, its only mentionable because matches happens to be some strangely observant being. cats in trees and flicker-flick of birds, wing-skipping from branch to wind-brambled branch. isn't daylight supposed to supply some sort of vital nutrients? vitamin d, is it? whatever it is, it's not having a very negative effect (or at least, noticeably so). he feels, great. free to think and do and be whatever it is that strikes him as being himself, or whatever extension of that self is unfurled within the moment. better than usual. certainly he misses the sun; who wouldn't? but, it surprises him that he can go on such a bender of sunless-ness and not be feeling like absolute shit. did grow up in colorado, after all. you tend to miss things that you are used to, when they are gone~

jeff once asked matches whether he preferred the daytime or the nighttime. the addressed was inclined to reply, at that time, that he felt more at ease at night...his senses more attuned, and perhaps a bit more independent and valuable considering that the city slumbered while he observed and explored (see "the city sleeps", a guaranteed track on m's next mix cd). or something like that; it was a long time ago. that's still a buoyant answer....but he cannot say at this point which he definitively likes 'better' than the other. they each have their charms. night can light lanterns in the imagination more easily....it feels effortless to glide away on a tangent and not look back. but daytime; ah! how appealing daylight is. it brings all the color to the world along with it; it warms the soul and brings all that is natural (and conversely, unnatural) into focus. there is nothing quite like rambling through the woods on a sunny, late autumn day. night cannot capture this feeling in its cloak, and it should not be able to. the morning has its intensity, its directness of being, that flies to the mark like an arrow loosed by a keen eye. the two are incomparable...and he no longer knows one without the appeal and languid absence of the other.
all he knows is that if portland is this much fun in the darkness and rain, there is going to be one ridiculous summer ahead. let's make reckless plans, and not abandon them to forgetfulness or indifference~

"to my surprise, and my delight
i saw sunrise, i saw sunlight
i am nothing in the dark
and the clouds burst to show daylight

oh, and the sun will shine
yeah, on this heart of mine
oh, and I realize
who cannot live without
oh, come apart without
it
on a hilltop, on a sky-rise
like a first born child
at full tilt, and in full flight
defeat darkness, breaking daylight

oh, and the sun will shine
yeah, on this heart of mine
oh, and I realize
who cannot live without
oh, come apart without
daylight

slowly breaking through the daylight."
~ coldplay - daylight