misunderstood

matches is just plain sick of misunderstandings. what could be worse? to say one thing and be interpreted as having said another. if only one could hop inside another person's mind; could piggyback on the waves of information being beamed hither and thither and lance right through into someone's intentions and meanings. perhaps communication is much like taking a step...it's a small miracle every time we accomplish it; there are so many forces working against balance (well, matches is sure he read somewhere that it was practically a miracle....though he doesn't seem to have too much trouble with it when he is in a sober state). honestly, how can you expect information to reach its desired target or angle? two separate clouds of consciousness trying to commune with each other; miscommunication should be about as expected as delays or derailments when sending post by carrier pigeon.
all antimatter wants for christmas, really, is a carrier pigeon.

still. it appears to m that what we rely on in communication are our similarities, our common grounds...we perfume our thoughts with spritzes of words, common ones to be found and appreciated in both natively-flowered regions of memory (and flora, naturally, is shared alongside colorful experience). we scent (har!) these letters, and hope that the helix between what is spoken and what is unspoken finds its way through the noise, into the intended receptors and thereby the intelligence or the emotions, variably, rickety-carriage-ably (for those two orbital 'spoke'ns are wickered quite precariously). how frustrating when people misinterpret; when words or the thoughts that string them together fail and fall short of the mark...when people do not see what you intend but instead suppose things entirely apart. expression is stolen from your grasp. can you imagine that, in its furthest of connotations and extensions? it's like an existence without meaning. sitting, whirring, powerless to make the wave you need to.

so, you must try, must. strive for clarity. how many factors are involved, to be overcome? enough. if pure, crystalline expression is even possible (we shall assume for the time being that it is. musn't it be?), then there are numerous jungled pitfalls for it to forage through. how many times have we failed even just as individuals, to translate a thought into an action? expression is a foremost problem in the quest to be understood~ but let us assume that we get into a good, clear state of mind, and do the best with what we have. then there is static, confusion outside of us, blaring noises, crackly and dropped calls, and the pinnacle of them all - situations. situations are the principle burners of parchment, of portrayal; they twist even a whisper of breath into parody. forget about all that.

even our best expressions, our poetry, our strongest and boldest accentuations...they are endlessly subject to blessed/cursed interpretation. the expression arrives at the intention, the intended. apprehension beforehand, perception during, analysis afterward. all burnable by a mood, a sharp sliver of thought, a degree of scrutiny; a picturesque painting tinted by rose-colored glasses that surreptitiously slipped over the nose of the observer. they did not feel a thing; deftly placed poisonous perspective, plundered by pickpockets of thought, something stolen (who can say what), never speaking a word. but the words fall upon them differently. they glance off to the side, or the scintillation that was so carefully threaded into them (a necklace, offered) is dimmed by, what? what is that?

who can say? it is a funny, very human, situation. matches knows, too, that this phenomenon is widespread. how much of mistakes, and who knows what else, could be salvaged by clarity, honesty; the best effort on both parts. antimatter hopes to seed all endeavors with those things. life is too important, too...transient, to waste with words not spoken from the heart. hard thoughts still contain the proper materials for expression....they just first must be forged, chiseled; they must be committed to and worked upon with no notion of 'settling' for something less than your best.

*mostly inspired by 'identity', by milan kundera. pick this book up~ it only takes a few hours.