"that goes on. listen. there is a sound like the knocking together of railway trucks in a siding. that is the happy concatenation of one event following another in our lives. knock, knock, knock. must, must, must. must go, must sleep, must wake, must get up -- sober, merciful word which we pretend to revile, which we press tight to our hearts, without which we should be undone. how we worship that sound like the knocking together or trucks in a siding!"
~ virginia woolf, the waves
let it be known henceforth that matches will be posting many and mighty a quote in this place, and perhaps even sometimes commenting on where it has throttled his mind to. much discussion in the 'comments' arena would be much welcomed and perhaps even rewarded with prizes if matches is struck *ahem* by them. and only this one apology will be issued for that and all future bad puns...though matches makes no promises as to any postings by Josh, that are almost certain to be rife with them ; )
matches has reflected many a time upon one particular facet that this quote awakens as he reads it...the pretending to revile themes upon which we are dependent. many many a time he has observed others (and of course himself) allowing disparaging worldviews to permeate the precious moment. one basic but bold example is any workplace matches has ever found himself tethered to.
as he sat wherever he sat when he sat there (unless standing), in the way-way back, the long-long ago, there has been much observed in the way of negativity being the bonding principle between people. "brothers of the flame," some poet whose name escapes matches would say. it's true that most workplaces are stifling, depressing places...but usually our one salvation is a coworker or two who proves to be chill. these people are to be valued when found, so tell them you appreciate them~ but moreso what matches was getting at is that when unfamilar people begin to glob together, whatever the reason or binding force (job), their main method of harmonizing with one another is to get together and bitch about other things or people. water-cooler talk if you will; gossip sometimes. what matches is beginning to think (though do not make the mistake of thinking that he considers himself above it...for matches has many a time participated in said bitch-sessions) is that this is a bad avenue to stroll, casual as it may be.
why is it that it's so much easier to complain? is this strength of empathy really a good way to nurture our minds in an environment? (a question mark, addressed only to one's self, is really quite a thing*). wouldn't it be better to fish these pools with your passions and interests as the bait, and not some "kick me" signs that we might as well be pinning to the boss with our various slanders and complaints? people getting to know each other is a very important part of the Earth, as far as matches can tell. he is getting a little wearied of watching people just weave webs based upon hatred and spite, finding mutual feelings nested in someone else who becomes a familiar and friend on this basis.
this aggression will not stand, man.
if you take the time to read anything further slash future on this webpage, you'll probably find that matches is nothing short of fascinated with perspectives, and how they can shape the world...from this room, to the whole enchilada (mmm). it's just sad to see negativity being used as the foundation, is all...it's not healthy, and matches thinks it will probably permeate into many more places than originally intended if it is just thrown about casually and left unchecked. he would rather see smiles and radiant energy than flashed furtive glances and insubordinate murmurs. people seem to react and adapt to what is around them, and if you want to form your spaces into a more habitable and happy spots...maybe it's worth trying to shake off all the shadows and throw some spices in the mix. music and laughter and the like.
"change your heart
look around you.
change your heart,
it will astound you."
~ beck
matches outro ; )
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4 comments:
I find myself increasingly inclined to bitch...about many things, from the bullshit minutiae of the day to the fate of the planet. I try, as best I can, to actually set about remedying these things, but sometimes I feel incapable of changing anything. Case in point: I have been plagued by a paper for months. In the past few days, as the due date neared, I began to bitch and lament almost constantly about the impossibility of the paper's completion. I would sit at the computer, stare at it, wait and watch, and then resume bitching about how the words refused to come. But this is me...I suppose I can do nothing different than obsess and worry, with the ever present bitching attached. However, today I finished that paper, and now I am free to spread those radiant smiles as I await what is to be the highest point of my life to date: my wedding. Matches...you will be missed. Colin and I were kicking it but a few moments ago over some brew. There was a definite empty space.
I suppose negativity can form social bonds because it creates a sort of immediate "us against them" business whether "them" is the taxman, bossman, or nutrasweet. In the sense of conspiratorial negativity inclusion into the circle implies some level of trust, however misplaced. What power can smiles wield against such old hard-wired impulses?
Hopefully, quite a bit. I suppose it also takes more sack to expose things you genuinely care about to the ravages of others' opinions. The shear temerity of such an act might scare some people away. Nothing worth doing is easy though.
well said frederick,
and what matches finds fascinating if not a little disheartening is actually the combination of the two. even at say a party, you will basically run across people bonding on the basis of what they dislike. "hate" is a strong word, but it's probably one of the most casual confettis these days...while m says sometimes that he hates a lot of silly things, or stupid people, in reality he would never use the word to its fullest degree. mattress has to hope that when people toss it around there is a mutual recognition of it being harnessed in some way, quartered in implication and potency. but this is what matches sees...people hear what other people hate, then they hate on some shit themselves, and in the meantime there is some subterranean exchange of smiles and trust.
but m thinks the trust comes mostly from the companionship, and we could be building up relationships much more meritoriously than we are~ am in agreement that people are afraid to reveal their intricacies for fear of ridicule, but think also that people don't often see how far this goes. if you put up defense after defense in order to play up to something, it begins to blur the line between ice-cream social fred and genuine heartfelt fred.
also word to brett. bitching does have its place, because how else could we express our frustration with things that we are forced to submit to or cannot change? but i mean to say that it is no good basis for kindling a companionship; there should be a more worthwhile exchange of positives or we will all turn into horrible cynics. and matches has been cynical to the extreme before; it ended up causing him much more depression and frustration than simply trying to remain optimistic would have, had he the balls at the time to live and speak with conviction.
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